I was eleven years old when I climbed for the first time on the tips. Until then, to dance, I used the half-toe shoes, and soft swivel-and that almost did not feel when wearing them.
Those pointe shoes, though, were different: with chalk, hard and heavy.
But above all strong, because they had to support your weight while hovering in the air.
It receives them, especially when arching your foot to stand on it.
I remember my first time: that feeling of loss of balance, will power mixed with fatigue, longing and resignation.
We climbed for a second and fell soon after.
Once, twice, thrice.
Until I was there to do all the exercise and then, over the years, to run entire choreography. Since then
not everything has become easier: the pain, blood, fatigue, resistance were the same.
What has changed is the perception I had of myself I could do it.
This has taught me that dance was above all this, and beyond that, then went over time, I keep to myself these teachings declining them, yet, in everyday life, especially in most difficult moments.
I always think of my first time on the tips and my teacher that my "I can not" opposed his "does not exist can not do that."
We live in a time that condemns us, from small to big things.
Are you different from others for different reasons, the preferred way of living that is based on "make a difference" to defend certain values, is regarded as an alien.
If you keep hope in your heart and try to take the place of work, you're surrounded by people who wake up in the morning only to set the clock waiting for shots to get out and be out in the middle the world.
If you live would not like others, is judged as "those of your age should be so, and you are not and do not do so. "
So each of these moments is equal to the time of the first on your toes.
The same fear of not succeeding, the same pain, the same strength.
And Fortunately, the same desire to never give up, even against the world.
Every day you realize how life is so fleeting and often elusive, it becomes too heavy to waste it in the days to live as others want or how others think.
I'm tired of seeing people that is at the center of the world, like a music box ballerina poised to make his ballet to receive the applause the public, people who do not go beyond his nose, which closes in their selfishness and their own thoughts, laughing at you if you do not agree with the "thought of the fashion of the moment" and that always has the answer for each pre-packaged and ready thing.
I have not got all these answers, because I do not cease to seek and search for others.
And maybe because I think that life here on earth, I have only one.
And I do not want to waste it in doing what others do, in thinking about what others think, to live as others live.
I'm lucky, because every day someone gives me confirmation that What am I doing in this world.
And I decided to go down this road, whatever the cost, with all my strength.
Like my first time on the tips.
"Two roads found in the woods, I chose the one less traveled by and that is why I am different" - Peter Weir
