As I discovered my lymphoma ... The story begins at a distance.
Winter 2007-2008. A of the driest winters in recent years, almost drought. The skin seems a bit 'dry. Itches. Everywhere. Start putting creams and goes a bit 'better. But little. Then I try to change the fabrics, using only cotton, cut all the labels because they can not stand. Months passed.
Stanca. My mom if I'm tired. Of course, we're doing crazy shifts. But then my shifts are not heavier than those of others, if they do it why should not I do it myself? The itching continues, but I also did blood tests and everything was more or less in place, no liver problems, are allergic ... will be stress? It can be ... seems even worse reflux esophagitis: I might add a pillow to sleep, otherwise I get a cough. Mah .. maybe I should go to a psychologist ...
Winter 2008 to 2009. Continue and increase, itching, tiredness, and cushions ... I always seem to stress only. Repeat blood tests, everything always seems ok. Work, work, work. I feel a little 'puffed up, the chain does not seem closer? And I feel swollen left external jugular, right? I ask my colleagues ... but no, I figured ... Maybe do a chest X-ray. Yes .. and then what? I have nothing else to do ... and the clock is ticking ... April 28. I come back from a week off from my past are almost always sleeping, but I do not feel very rested. Perhaps because the week before I had worked 90 hours? Mah ..
As always, back from vacation, I "won" the morning-night shift, and I prepare the night doing my usual nap. This time, however, I rebel against the pillows I always slept better without cushions and stomach, may not be able to do now?
I wake up to fatigue after a couple of hours, the alarm sounds insistently, the head is heavy. I look in the mirror and I see fear in his eyes swollen. Actually I feel all swollen, head, neck ... Palp instinctively feel the neck and finally, a supraclavicular lymph node on the right, at least 2-3 cm thick, but as I have done not to hear first?
And suddenly, finally, after months, the pieces of the puzzle start to go right ...
I go to work. On my arrival in intensive care nurses see me and gets up the chorus, but what have you done?? have a face! Quiet, I just woke up a bit 'swollen, in fact I have a swollen lymph node, but quiet, now I go to the emergency room and I shall have two exams ... My colleague the night on the phone, talk to him then ...
Inside the emergency room agrees with me on the examinations and also suggests an ultrasound of the neck the morning after. I have to ask the chest X-ray. He: I figured, come on, we hope Of course not ... Me: You prescrivimela.
Step in radiology, but there are many people, and then just at that moment I called for an urgent caesarean section. A nice boy. A small miracle, as always, that little baby screaming, the mother moved. My last cesarean section for a while '... Fortunately, however, also the last call of the night, almost a second miracle! Review in radiology, there are still people, but the engineers decided that I have the earlier (on the other hand I was already gone before, no?) And make me pass. When I leave the dressing room is a chest on the monitor, and comment, well, not bad. The coach: yes, in fact it is better than yours ... which is this: the mediastinum is a bit 'wider, but did you know already, right? Me: No, I made the plate for this. The coach: ah ... It seemed like a great response, there was just nothing else to say. That could only mean slab lymphoma. If we then put the itching, tiredness, cough (which, I began to suspect, was due to the mass and not the esophagus), could not be more. I knew I knew the coach. She also immediately understood my colleague of the estuary, when I got up and I showed him the plate. Being doctors in certain things it helps you save some anxiety waiting, because you know some things alone.
Well, it's been a long night, are the two past and my tiredness is always with me. I'm going to sleep. But you can also sleep, I get connected? Oh yes! Absolutely!
I'm going to lie down in the chair-bed where we lie when we call for some urgency, with three pillows this time ... but in fact I fell asleep immediately. I wonder what awaits me, and when will the next night I'll spend in that chair, if there will be another night in that chair ... but I'm sure it is. The lymphoma has an excellent prognosis, hematology was not one of my favorite college exams but I remember it well. If you have to have a tumor, lymphoma is perhaps the best of all. Or at least, the least worst.
And then, if I must be honest: relief. It is not stress, I'm not mad. I finally know. Finally, you can do something. Finally, above all, I can rest. In the morning they will begin their tests, treatments, news that, in fact, a lot will change 'my life, at least for a few months. But for now I can rest. Quiet at last.
(photo taken from the site http://www.nottidiguardia.it/ )
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